Christmas Message, 2008

 

 

 

 

 

 

I read recently with some sadness about how a fellow blogger friend of mine had gotten his family Christmas Tree "from a lot" and I nearly wept, such was my trepidation for the future of the Nation.  This is decidedly not how one is supposed to go about obtaining the family tree.  One must, and I cannot stress this enough, venture forth into the Wilderness, just as Chevy Chase did in the epic Christmas Vacation, and battle the elements and, indeed, Nature herself in order to obtain the prize. 

This is how we do it and, therefore, this is how it must be done.  Enclosed please find pictures of this year's hunt for the Kincaide Family Christmas Tree.  The site is a Christmas Tree preserve located about an hour and a half north of Detroit, deep in God's Country.  Lot, indeed.

Above, please note that the quarry has been pinned down by my wife Jeannie and my daughter Laura.  Moments later comes "The Moment of Truth":

Note the look of satisfaction on the face of the young huntress after she has made her kill!  And now, a trophy shot:

 

 

 

So, there you have it.  The game has been dressed, not field-dressed, more like Living Room dressed, and is now on display in our home.  A local beastie has been employed to guard the prize:

As a finishing touch, we have surrounded the tree with an entire village, the residents of which spend most of their time looking up with wonder and awe at the tree which towers over them:

Such is our life on Christmas Eve, 2008.  I wanted to take a moment to thank so many of you for enriching my life in the past year.  I lift a glass o' Nog to you David von Ebers, and to you Democommie, and to you General, sir, and to Jay and Dave and Nomi and all the rest.  Merry Christmas friends!

Road Trip!

I know most of you don't have time to scroll through yet another Wonkette post as the Big Three CEOs today take another field trip to DC (driving there in cars built by the companies they head instead of flying there in corporate jets this time) to ask, hats in hand, for 25, uh, 34 billion in loans to save their asses and the three million or so jobs which depend on those asses.  So I've done it for you.  The highlights so far:

OK, so who’s going to be the brave filmmaker who turns this into a road movie? I imagine scenes in which:

• They hit the Bunny Ranch
• They get lost in the “wrong part of town” and lose their hubcaps
• Their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere and Alan Mullaly has to change the fan belt
• They  pick up a hitch-hiker who may or may not be a serial killer
• They fight over what radio station to listen to
• Rick Wagoner ties Robert Nardelli’s shoes together while he’s sleeping
• They dig up an old bottle of “Dom Perignon” they buried in Death Valley 10 years earlier
• They go skinny dipping just outside Oram, Utah and someone steals their clothes
• They finally arrive in D.C. with a completely changed outlook on life

---

“Yes, Congressman, we feel we have comprehensive plan to make the most of the $34 billion we’re requesting.”
“Uh, Mr. Waggoner, wasn’t it $25 billion?”
“Two weeks ago, it was. But after we put our heads together and came up with an actual plan, we found that the figure was more like $42 billion.”
“Wait — you just — ”
“And with this $47 billion, we think we can get on a sound footing — for the next three or four months, at least.”

---

Is this a milestone when the CEOs all rode in one of their products? There was a deeply transformative moment when Wagoner started sniffing the air and said, “Is this what they all smell like?” Nardelli got carsick and Mulally was just annoying the whole time, reading out the signs of failing businesses along the highway as they drove...

Surviving the Current Economic Unpleasantness

The best advice on what to do with the economy collapsing around us comes to Everybody courtesy of Wonkette commentator Serolf Divad: 

"If I lived in Australia I’d be welding massive gas tanks onto the back of my black 1973 XB GT Ford Falcon Coupe right now. I’d get a dog and learn to enjoy eating dog food out of the can. I’d dress in black leather and carry a sawed off shotgun and lots of shells."

So, there you have it.

In a totally unrelated note, the best line Everybody heard following the recent Electoral Good News comes to us from the hallways of one of the local high schools where one of the youngsters was overheard wailing on the morning after the vote, "I don't even want to live in a country where Barack Obama is president!  Do you know what his middle name is?  It's Al Queda!"

So, there you have it again. 

My teenage daughter is a Democrat, big time.  Just like her parents.  Her classmate, the girl who apparently thinks Hopey is a terrorist, is a Republican, big time.  Just like her parents.  The affirmative case for the efficacy of political indoctrination is therefore made, no? 

How then to explain that I was raised by a Republican?  In fact, during a recent visit I teased my mom about how she had voted for Nixon.  Twice.  (Upon further reflection I realized that I had misstated the case.  She probably voted for Tricky Dick 5 times: in 1952,'56,'60,'68 and '72!)

But having spent her 14 years as an inmate, I mean student in my political re-education camp, our daughter was really quite concerned, worried sick is more like it, about the impact a win by the other side would have on the future of our nation and on the future of our household.  Having previously mentioned indoctrination as I did, you can see why I would blame myself for her feeling the way she felt, but what could I do?  With the exception of the lies all fathers tell their children, (i.e., "There is too a Santa Claus"; "There is too an Easter Bunny"; and, of course, "You do too have a really, really great dad!") I am unerringly truthful with my child.  My defense for scaring my kid is therefore the virtual impossibility of overstating to her or anyone else the dire consequences of a victory by a ticket which presents on it the name "Sarah Palin".

Laura, like the rest of us, feels much better now.

Meanwhile, I see the middle-aged men gather after church or before choir practice and I overhear snippets of their conversations.  They are auto guys, middle management, mostly.  They work for Ford or GM or a company whose business and existence depend on Ford or GM.  "What have you heard?"  "Are you taking the buyout?", etc.  They are worried.  They are scared for their economic lives.  I wonder how the Republicans among them, a majority I am sure, have taken the news that Senate Republicans are poised to filibuster the $25 billion in loan guarantees for the Big Three.

Finally, an excellent thesis on how the mind of Sarah Palin works in the wake of her presser this week at the Republican Governors Association meeting from the superb Matt Taibbi of the Rolling Stone magazine.  Enjoy! 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes We Did.

It's Election Night:

A few minutes after Barack Obama became the president-elect, I called my black friend and said, "A Brother in the White House.  What's that all about?"  We had a great laugh but I think maybe he'd been crying a little bit.  What's that all about?  I haven't been able to wipe this smile off my face since California went to Obama and put him over the top at a second after eleven and that was about an hour-and-a-half ago. 

It was the cracking-voiced reaction of the blacks I saw on TV tonight, Eugene Robinson on MSNBC and Juan Williams on FOX that affected me most.  (And wasn't best part of the night watching those Fox News Channel creeps with the looks on their faces that said, "We are SO screwed"?) 

I'd never realized how much the election of Obama would mean to black people.  How could I?  I'm a white dude.  I just wanted to get a good man in there.  Which we did.  But, to be honest, I hadn't really thought about how blacks would take it before tonight.  it touched me to see how much it meant to them.   

I looked at that crowd of several hundred thousand gathered in Grant Park and I told my wife Jeannie, "I just hope this means we can all get along better now, you know?"  It's what I want more than anything from this new day.

The thing I will remember most about the presidential campaign of 2008 was the Labor Day trip my family made to downtown Detroit for an Obama rally.  I was born in Detroit and I've lived here pretty much my whole life and I've never seen the place so happy.  I've seen it on fire, literally, but I've never seen it happy.  We were walking back to the car and passed a parked school bus filled with kids from Southfield Lathrup High School.  Black kids.  A whole bus full of them.  One of the kids stuck his head out the window and asked, "You for McCain?"  "Oh, hell no," I said.  "Obama!  Obama! Obama!"

The bus went completely nuts.  It was rocking as the kids cheered along with me.  What a great time we were having together.  I'll never forget it.  I'll never forget this night.

I watched McCain giving his little concession speech in front of his little crowd of rich people with their cocktails glasses clinking at a resort for rich people in Scottsdale and then I saw We the People gathered in a city park in Chicago waiting to hear the winner speak.  It was the perfect metaphor for what this whole campaign was about.  Not to mention the perfect ending to it.

Yes we can?  Yes, we did!

Only 13

I was listening to Harry Beadle deliver the 1pm (Eastern) edition of "CNN Radio News" today (Friday, October 31) and old Harry sounded like he was pretty geeked up about what he called, and I quote, "Good news out of Iraq today."

According to Harry, it seems not a single US soldier died in Baghdad this month!  Huzzah!

Then Harry had to go and spoil the whole thing and stress my mellow.  In following up he noted that "only 13 American soldiers died elsewhere in Iraq in October."

Really?  Only 13?  Only?

I will say this.  It's the first time this month I've heard any word whatsoever in the broadcast media anywhere about US war deaths in Iraq.  Maybe the first time in weeks.  In fact, there are entire months that go by without any mention of the on-going deaths in the War Bush Lied America Into unless I happen to be listening to This Is America with Jon Elliot (11pm Eastern on Air America Radio, 1310 WDTW-AM here in Detroit) on the first of the month.  During his first show every month, Elliot ends his broadcast by reading a list (name, age and hometown) of every US soldier killed in Iraq during the month just ended.

There have been months when it would take over an hour to complete the list.  May, 2007, for example. That one included 127 names and ages and hometowns. It took Jon almost two hours of airtime to read it.  This is America is billed by its host as "the fastest two hours on radio".  Not that night it wasn't.

Now, I get it that 13 is far fewer than 127.  But 13 of our brothers and sisters who were alive when this month began are now dead.  13 more have died for Bush's lies in the past month.

I fail to see the good news to which Mr. Beadle made reference.

By the way, the most recent Iraq War death, the 13th in the month of October, occurred Thursday.  The name of the decedent has not yet been released.  He or she is the 4,189th American to die in Iraq.  So far.

Four days until we change America.

"And He's A N-----!"

Just to make sure there was no sound dubbing involved, I checked this video against a different feed provided by The Des Moines Register and it is authentic.  This is from a Klan, sorry, a Palin rally Saturday.  The clip is less than a minute.  At about the :14 mark, you will hear a slur that should make your heart sink.

From her reaction (not to mention the slur was shouted loud enough that it actually created an echo in the Hy-Vee Arena) it is obvious that Palin heard it.  Other than stumbling over her words, she did nothing.  Nothing at all.  It was perfectly okay with her. 

It's like I said to someone I know to be a Republican over the weekend: "So, you're voting for Palin, eh?  Tell me what that's like."

Seven days until we change America. 

Spread the Wealth

I hear Insane John McSame scream at his rallies that "Barack Obama wants to spread the wealth!"  while his apparently vapid worth-a-hundred-million-dollar trophy wife stands there with that smug, crap-eating grin on her face and while I think about what a good idea Barack has there, I hear McSame's audience react to the to the suggestion that wealth in the country should be spread around not by cheering wildly, but rather by booing loudly.  As louldy as they can, in fact.  I am left slack-jawed in disbelief.

What could they possibly be thinking? 

Does everybody at a McSame rally make over $250,000 or are they just stupid? 

I usually depend on Wonkette for a laugh or two, but there was nothing in this post to giggle about.  It reports on a 30-country economic study which took two years to complete and which concludes that only two nations (Turkey and Mexico) have greater income disparity between the rich and poor than we have right here in the Good Ole USA.  And it notes that the gap is growing, that it has shot up in the last 8 years after the trend had been reversed  (albeit slightly) the previous 8 years.

The report says that the top 10% of US wage earners control 71% of all the wealth in the United States.  The top 1% owns fully 33% of the nations wealth.  That doesn't leave much for the rest of us, now does it?

So why are these idiots booing the idea of "spreading the wealth around"?  Spreading it around a bit sounds pretty common sense to me.

My wife says it's because all those people aspire to make it to the top 10% and don't want to get taxed once they get there.  I say that I'm all for them reaching that goal and as soon as they do (which, of course, the vast majority never will) they should right away turn around and become big-time Repubs.  But until that day, they are simply cutting their own throats by supporting Republican policies which hurt them; which have never done a single thing for them. 

I think Barack said it best yesterday: "Senator McCain isn't looking out for Joe the Plumber.  He's looking out for Joe the Hedge Fund Manager!"

Right on, my brother.  Right on!

13 Days

Boy, you skip a day or two because you're pissed off about Ohio State beating your team 45 to whatever or you're a little tired after broadcasting a high school game cause a running back ran for 5 touchdowns and the other teams quarterback threw for 5 and it all came down to a two-point conversion that failed but which could have been called either way and the game winds up 35-34 and you're so jacked you don't fall asleep until a quarter to dawn and before you know it, it's been almost a week since you checked in. 

So, sorry about that. 

Here's a musical interlude for those who like to listen to tunes while they read.  Long story short: my broadcast career began at a country music station back in the late 70's and while I hated most of the music so very, very much, there were a couple of tunes I liked.  Going with those few, here's a little Charley Rich Rolling With the Flow for you.  (Skip it if you want.  Richie?  He don't give a damn).

 

Ah, wasn't that nice?

A final word on the ALCS.  After they won Game 5 after being down 7-0 like that, I thought Boston was going to win, of course.  That's the only way it becomes a legendary story, winning the whole freaking thing.  But, they didn't so now it's just a pretty good story.  I did read in Boston's Game Notes that, according to the Elias Sports Bureau, the game marked only the 4th time in Red Sox history -- and the first time since 1961 -- that Boston had come from as many as 7 runs behind in the 7th inning or later to win a game.  Since, as you well know, the Bostons have played 16,728 games since joining the American League in 1901, what we saw in Game 5 was a once in a quarter-of-a-century event.  When Boston got that first-inning homer in Game 7, I figured it was all over, but I was wrong because that's all they got.  And that's because Tampa traded a pretty good ballplayer, Delmon Young, to get pitcher Matt Garza last November.  Garza, Tampa's Game 7 starter, gave the Red Sox that homer and that was all he gave them.  It's hard not to like Tampa as a team.  I like them to win the Series.  But I hate their ballpark.

Now to politics.  Here's the link to the Rolling Stone article by Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and Greg Palast about how the GOP plans to steal the vote in 13 days.  It fall under the "must-read" category:

http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/23638322/block_the_vote

One last thing.  The game I'm broadcasting Friday night, our "Game of the Week" this week is a bitter rivalry game:  North Farmington at Farmington.  It's a terrific story.  In week 3, Farmington got beat 63-0 by Adams (the worst loss in school history) to fall to 0-3 for the season and to extend their losing streak to 15 in a row.  They hadn't won a game since 2006.  Since that loss, the Falcons have won 5 in a row (2 by shutout) including their first win over Harrison since 1977.  Now, that was a game.  Six lead changes and Farmington won it 20-19 on a touchdown with :53 left on the clock.  I was so jacked I didn't fall asleep until a quarter-to-dawn.  Now, if they can beat North Farmington, they will be in the state playoffs.  That's a hell of a story.  But only if they win Friday night.

13 days until we change America.  We'll talk again soon.

The Damndest Thing Everybody Has Ever Seen

And you thought Haloscan sucked.  I just finished off a long post on the Red Sox miracle win in Game 5 of the ALCS and lost it all when I kicked out the power cord.  Thanks, Windows Live Writer.  Nice auto-archive feature.

I just wanted to point out that what happened at Fenway tonight was the damndest thing I've ever seen.  In baseball, anyway.

I saw a graphic on the TV that said Boston's 8-7 comeback win -- they were down 7-0 in the bottom of the 7th inning and were only 7 outs away from having their season ended (and I'll tell you what, when the number of runs you trail by in a game equals or exceeds the number of outs you have left in that game you are in some kind of trouble) -- was the second-largest comeback in baseball's post-season history.

Right away I thought I knew what the biggest such comeback was.  From memory.  I thought it was Philadelphia (the American League A's) against Chicago around in a World Series around 1930. 

It turns out there is a pretty good memory on that baseball historian.

A check of the record book (it was in the retrieving of it from a nearby bookshelf that I kicked out that power cord and ruined my post) confirms that it was the A's and it was the Cubs, but it was 1929, not '30.  The Cubs, down two games to one, led Game Four 8-0 when Philly came to bat in the bottom of the 7 at Shibe Park and put a ten-spot on 'em to win 10-8 and go up 3-1 in a Series which Philadelphia took in 5 by winning the next game.  The stat that jumps out at you from the '29 World Series is that Philadelphia (aided, of course by that big rally in Game 4) outscored Chicago 19-2 from the 7th inning on in the five games.

I watched most of the fun from Fenway tonight on a computer feed which provided only ambient stadium sound and four fixed camera locations since I wanted to watch the episode of Countdown I'd recorded on the TV and, what the hell, it was, after all, 7-0 Rays by the time I got home from where ever it was that I had been this evening.

Whenever the ball was put in play, you couldn't follow it.  The cameras didn't move.  So, for example, I had to count how many men crossed the plate after Ortiz hit it out to know it was a 3-run homer.  And I only knew it was a homer from the roar of the crowd and the sight of said crowd going nuts.  And when Casey scored to tie the game, I saw him slide across home plate and saw the Rays start jogging off the field.  Since the crowd was going nuts again, I could only surmise that the run had counted and that the batter-runner had been subsequently retired on the base paths.  Which is exactly what happened, of course.

After that, I watched on TV like a normal person.  Quite a night.  The fans who were there will be talking about that game until the day they die.  Especially if Boston comes all the way back to defeat Tampa. 

They were dead, Boston.  Not merely moribund.  They were dead.  Like I said, I've never seen anything like it.  Only somebody who was old enough to be a fan in 1929 and who is still alive today has.

 

J.C. Christian, Patriot, Wins Debate

Everybody thanks, well, Jesus that we read Jesus' General. 

It is because of The General's website; because of the fine work the General has been doing now for years, that as soon as McSame made the first of his 25 references to  "Joe the Plumber" (getting his last name wrong but what the hell he's old and all) what seemed to  be to be 10-12 seconds into the third and final Presidential Debate Wednesday night we knew exactly who Grandpa was talking about. 

I figured I might be one of maybe 100 people in the country who did.

It was all because of a post The General had put on his site a few scant hours before the debate. 

The title: Obama Frightens Plumbers.  It was about "Joe the Plumber."  I had already posted a comment on the The General's site about it an hour or so before the debate began. 

So, when McSame brought him up, it was all, like, "OMFG, I know who he's talking about!"

Here's the man --not a world leader or an intellectual or American Hero even -- but rather a plumber from Toledo, Ohio who, with the election on the line and the leadership of the Free World hanging in the balance, McSame chose to hang his hat upon.  (Sort of like picking the Mayor of Wasilla, AK to be your running mate, when one thinks about it.)

Now, if it were me and I got to spend three minutes of face time with one of two men who will be the President-Elect of the United States in three weeks, I might find myself inclined to show that man some respect.  Not Joe, so much.  He's not quite that bright.  The enormity of it all failed to register.  It happens when you are not that bright.  It might have been interesting to hear the full exchange, but you know Faux News.  They covered whatever it was that Obama was telling Joe because, obviously, what Joe had to say to them on the phone clearly was of much greater importance.  Nice interrogation by Cavuto, though.  He actually posed, as question, "What's the deal?"  I don't watch Faux News.  Is the questioning always this insightful?

As I saw it, the debate ended in that same first minute which saw Old Man McCain bring up plumber Joe as he sneered his ugly sneer at Obama and said:

...You told him you wanted to spread the wealth around.  The whole premise behind Sen. Obama's plans are class warfare, let's spread the wealth around.

You know, that whole "spread the wealth around" thing?  With the top 1% (Cindy and Johnny McCain in that group? 'Ya think?) controlling 40-50% of the income and the wealth in this country, "spreading the wealth around" doesn't sound like such a bad idea to me.  In fact, I think it sounds downright American.  Maybe more people think as I do than think like McSame does, and maybe that's why, in 19 days, we are going to change the world!

Good night,  God bless, and thank you General, sir!

What I Don't Understand About Baseball

Everybody must, from time to time, write about baseball...

Everybody does not understand Los Angeles Dodgers manager Joe Torre, at all.  Prior to the playoffs we stood up for the guy, decrying the fact that he was fired by the Yankees after putting them in the Playoffs for 12 years in a row, delighting in the fact that he showed 'em by putting his new team in the post season.

And then he goes and does something stupid like he did in Game 4 of the National League Championship Series (NLCS) Monday night.  There's Torre, with a 5-3 lead in the 8th, six outs away from tying the series against Philadelphia 2-2 -- and he decides to pull Hong-Chih Kuo just because Kuo had allowed a lead-off single.  An inning earlier, Kou got the Phillies out in order on 11 pitches, ten of them strikes, getting the last two hitters on strikeouts.  Kuo was unhittable. 

So he falls behind 2-0 to the lead-off man in the 8th and gives up a ground-ball single and out of the dugout comes Torre and out of the game goes Kuo, replaced by Cory Wade who, when the season began, was a Double A pitcher.  Wade lasted 6 pitches, the third of which was sent into the Phillies bullpen by Shane Victorino for a game-tying two-run homer. 

After a fly-out and a single, out comes Torre again and now he decides it's time for his closer Jonathan Broxton.  Matt Stairs hits Broxton's third pitch to Eagle Rock and it's 7-5 Phils and that is that.  Now, it's hard to blame Torre for going to his closer since Broxton had gone 50 straight appearances (!) dating back to May 31 without allowing a home run but Torre's mistake was in removing Kuo in the first place and, if he felt he absolutely had to make a change, it was in not bringing in Broxton to get a six-out save instead of doing what he did: putting a rookie on the hill in the late innings with the game on the line.

Had the Dodgers won Monday, Everybody would have given them the edge in terms of winning the series.    Instead, they are down three games to one and the task at hand (winning three in a row) is, while not impossible, daunting to say the least.

The last time a team came back from 3-1 down to win a best-of-seven series was Boston in the American League Championship Series last year against Cleveland.

The Red Sox will have to do it again this year to make it to the World Series.  The Sox won Game One 2-0 over the Rays and everything appeared to be as it should be.  But in the last three games the unheard-of Rays -- the team with the worst record in The Bigs last season -- have scored 31 runs and have the Bostons on the ropes, facing elimination.  Tampa last night became the first team in ALCS history to score at least 9 runs in three straight games.  We'd root for them were it not for the prospect of having to watch more games from Tropicana Field, easily the worst venue in the Majors, if not in all of sports.  But they are an exciting team, no question about that, and that makes them fun to watch. 

Maybe they could let them play their home games in the Series at Fenway.  I like Fenway. 

Get Off The Ice!

The title of this post is an actual quote from an actual fan yelling at me during a hockey game.

But, that's not what this is about. 

Democommie, a budding sports writer (?) has excellent post about Sarah Palin's, uh, chilly reception at the Flyers/Rangers game Saturday night in Philadelphia.  The video below (run time 2:25) provides the best idea of what it was like to be in the arena at the time.  It's all about the ambient sound.  The other versions I've seen, taken off the tee-vee, are muffled since the arena sound system (cranked up to the max, I suspect) covers the crowd noise.  Give this one an earful...

 

John McCain Gets BarackRoll'd

The news from Detroit: 

A share of GM stock is less than $5.00; Ford less than 3.

The Red Wings lose the season opener to the Maple Loafs.

And, worst of all, Bush addresses the nation on the economy again today.

That's a lot of sh-- sandwich to eat.  What we need is a guffaw.  So, here you go...

 

Make it  great Friday, everybody!

The Nature of the Beast

I wrote some time ago about an Obama rally that I went to with my wife and daughter in downtown Detroit and I talked about how good it felt to be in the midst of thousands of people who thought like we thought (i.e. We can change the world on Election Day!) and who, like us, were all having a blast even if we were stuck in a line that was at least eight blocks long.

It was a positive environment. People were happy. Hopeful.

In fairness to those we are about to see, I'm sure the presence of McSame supporters that day would have stressed my mellow. I'm sure I would have shouted something and I'm sure that the only reason I would not have flipped them off was because my little girl would have seen me and it so disappoints her when I do that. I know this to be true because she tattled on me for flipping off a McCain-Palin yard sign, so this is now something I am no longer allowed to do.

But I also know what I would have yelled to those mythical protesters would have been along the lines of, "Don't you know you're getting screwed?" Or, "Do you like the way things are going in this country?" Or even, "How stupid can you be?"

The latter question, "How stupid can you be?", is the one which is answered here as we tune in our fellow Americans, this time somewhere in Pennsylvania at a rally for the GOP ticket:

Credit (and thanks)to: http://keystoneprogress.org/page/content/ksp-home/

Two Easy Pieces

Illustration by Victor Juhasz/Rolling Stone

Naturally, everybody wants to know what those of us here at Everybody thought of the Nashville debate. Well, my friends, we thought Howard Fineman of Newsweek summed it up best when he called it a confrontation "between a 21st century candidate and a 20th century candidate."

It was the past taking on the future. It was an old and tired man against a young and vigorous leader.

It was no contest.

After the debate I came across a commentator at Wonkette who wondered why the profile of Insane John McCain in the current issue of Rolling Stone wasn't getting more attention.

So, we checked it out and it was, as advertised, excellent. Everybody recommends the story, Make Believe Maverick by Tim Dickinson to everybody.

At the end of that piece, under "related stories" we linked to an article which appeared in the magazine a week ago called Mad Dog Palin and Everybody will tell you it's among the finest writing of the current political year. It's by Matt Taibbi and it's a must-read.

An excerpt ensues:

Sarah Palin is a symbol of everything that is wrong with the modern United States. As a representative of our political system, she's a new low in reptilian villainy, the ultimate cynical masterwork of puppeteers like Karl Rove. But more than that, she is a horrifying symbol of how little we ask for in return for the total surrender of our political power. Not only is Sarah Palin a fraud, she's the tawdriest, most half-assed fraud imaginable, 20 floors below the lowest common denominator, a character too dumb even for daytime TV — and this country is going to eat her up, cheering her every step of the way.

Seriously. Great.

I wouldn't steer you wrong on something like this. My friends.

Who Supports Domestic Terrorists?

Why, it's John McCain!  Look:

 

Everybody notes that the above is courtesy of The Jed Report via  Daily Kos.

From Daily Kos: "One important detail about this legislation is that it was a standalone bill. In other words, McCain was opposed to this particular policy; he can't say that he opposed the bill for some unrelated reason.

Oh, No You Did'nnnnnt

Mrs. Palin has opened the door, so let's step through it, shall we?

If you want to damn someone based on their acquaintances, as she has done these past few days with respect to Senator Obama, then you have to accept the light being shined in the same way on those you have known.

Which, of course, brings us to the Keating Five and Senator McCain. I heard the audio of the following today on The Randi Rhodes Show, and I share it with you now:

In case the video won't load, here's the direct link.

Today, We Are All (Fighting) Illini

We'll get back to the politics in a moment (my, isn't that Sarah Palin a great big b-word? Golly gee, you betcha.) but first we have to get some boring sports stuff out of the way.

How about them Illini? Obviously uninspired by the Chicago Cubs (a collection of overpaid phonies who clearly, as it turns out, do not give a damn about winning or about whose feelings they hurt when they roll over and quit in front of the entire nation) the boys from Champaign ventured north to Ann Arbor and hung a 45-20 number on the once-vaunted Michigan Wolverines right there in the fixer-upper they insist on calling "The Big House". I think "The Big House" used to be what they called New York's Sing-Sing prison, but if you think naming your home field for a correctional facility helps you recruit and what not, go for it, I say.

Having attended The Michigan State University (actually, we don't use the word "The" when talking about MSU like Ohio State does in identifying their school because we figure it's superfluous; that unlike Ohioans, we aren't worried that people in our state will confuse MSU with, say, the Detroit College of Taxidermy Arts and think the latter might be "the" State University of our state) my two favorite teams are, of course, Michigan State and whomever is playing Michigan, so bless you boys!

We cracked open the Official 2008 University of Michigan Football Media Guide (and for you Palin fans out there, if you want to start burning books, I'd like to suggest that the Official 2008 University of Michigan Football Media Guide would be a good place to start) and learnt (hey! "learnt" didn't light up the spell-check thingy but "thingy" did, go figure) that the 45 points scored by Illinois Saturday was the most ever scored by the Illini in a game against Michigan, breaking the record of 39 set in 1924. Nice.

Now, keep it going. It turns out that Illinois have defeated Michigan at Memorial Stadium exactly once (in 1983) since 1957. The Wolverines go there next year and all of us newly-minted Illini fans will be pulling for you.

Now, the Cubs. Watching them get rolled by the Dodgers recalled the performance of my Detroit Tigers in the 2006 World Series against the Cardinals. Detroit hit .199 in that Series and saw their run production drop from 5.07 runs a game in the regular season to 2.0 in the Series. Chicago scored 5.2 runs per game in the regular season and 2.0 in the series against the Dodgers. Gaack. In other words, I know exactly how Cubs fans feel today, and it ain't great.

A Great Day for Michigan. And America.

O happy day!

Word broke late this afternoon that John McInsane is shuttering his campaign operations here in the Mitten State! He's closing down his campaign offices, sending staff to other states, and, best of all, cancelling his media buys in Michigan. This means I no longer have to listen to his bullshit lies. Hoo-ya!

As I mentioned over at the General's place today, this means I will no longer have to throw anything at the Tee-Vee unless a Detroit Lions game is on.

In honor of this great day, I invite one and all to get Barack-rolled right here!

I've got to go to choir practice now where I will sing with great joy before I come home to enjoy tonight's debate.

Peace out!

We Cut & Paste, You Decide

Here's from the transcripts of interviews conducted with the candidates for the Vice-Presidency as posted on the CBS Evening News website:

Katie Couric: Why do you think Roe v. Wade was a good decision?

Joe Biden: Because it's as close to a consensus that can exist in a society as heterogeneous as ours. What does it say? It says in the first three months that decision should be left to the woman. And the second three months, where Roe v. Wade says, well then the state, the government has a role, along with the women's health, they have a right to have some impact on that. And the third three months they say the weight of the government's input is on the fetus being carried. And so that's sort of reflected as close as anybody is ever going to get in this heterogeneous, this multicultural society of religious people as to some sort of, not consensus, but as close it gets. I think the liberty clause of the 14th Amendment … offers a right to privacy. Now that's one of the big debates that I have with my conservative scholar friends, that they say, you know, unless a right is enumerated - unless it's actually, unless [it] uses the word "privacy" in the Constitution - then no such "constitutional right" exists. Well, I think people have an inherent right.

Couric: Why, in your view, is Roe v. Wade a bad decision?

Sarah Palin: I think it should be a states' issue not a federal government-mandated, mandating yes or no on such an important issue. I'm, in that sense, a federalist, where I believe that states should have more say in the laws of their lands and individual areas. Now, foundationally, also, though, it's no secret that I'm pro-life that I believe in a culture of life is very important for this country. Personally that's what I would like to see, um, further embraced by America.

Couric: Do you think there's an inherent right to privacy in the Constitution?

Palin: I do. Yeah, I do.

Couric: The cornerstone of Roe v. Wade.

Palin: I do. And I believe that individual states can best handle what the people within the different constituencies in the 50 states would like to see their will ushered in an issue like that.

Couric: What other Supreme Court decisions do you disagree with?

Palin: Well, let's see. There's, of course in the great history of America there have been rulings, that's never going to be absolute consensus by every American. And there are those issues, again, like Roe v. Wade, where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So you know, going through the history of America, there would be others but …

Couric: Can you think of any?

Palin: Well, I could think of … any again, that could be best dealt with on a more local level. Maybe I would take issue with. But, you know, as mayor, and then as governor and even as a vice president, if I'm so privileged to serve, wouldn't be in a position of changing those things but in supporting the law of the land as it reads today.

O.M.F.G. Are you serious? Just look at the answers they come up with to the same question side-by side. It should tell you a lot. It should tell you all you need to know.

A few days ago I posted a Falin quote which struck me as so far off base that I just re-printed it verbatim and made no comment at all. The post was titled "Speechless", because that's how it left me. It turned out to be the same quote that Saturday Night Live ran with word-for-word in their Tina Fey sketch last weekend.

This is more of the same.

It's like one of the commentators over at Wonkette said: "I think she spoke how cats think."

Enjoy the debate tonight!

I Guess This Means A Sweep Is Out Of The Question

While I was looking for something with which to cheer von Ebers who, since he is living and dying with the Cubs here in the postseason and is therefore, at least for the moment dead, I came across this in the Cubs Official Game Notes:
Despite 118 years of mutual existence, the Cubs and Dodgers meet in the postseason for the first time … however, the teams have played 2,024 times in the regular season starting with their first meeting May 29, 1890 … through the first 2,024 games, the clubs have played to a 1,012-1,012 draw.

No. Bleeping. Way. You play over 2,000 games and the all-time series is tied? That may be the most amazing stat I have ever seen in my baseball career.

My bid to find cheering news in the Cubs defeat appeared to be an Epic Fail: Since 1995, the winner of Game 1 of the NLDS has gone 23-3 in the series.

But then this! Since 1995, the winner of Game 1 of the ALDS has gone 12-14 in the series.

Hey, how in the hell can this be? Well, all I can say is that if a team can come back to win in the AL, indeed, if they come back to win more often than they do not, the same thing can happen in the NL. So, go Cubs, I say.

Besides, I remember a little boy (moi) who was bummed to the maximum after Game 1 of the 1968 World Series when Bob Gibson of St. Louis fanned every Tiger who came to bat (okay, he only struck out 17) and the Cardinals won and all hope was gone and then Detroit came back to win the Series in 7 so let's not give up just yet.

First pitch at Wrigley comes at 9:37 (EDT), 37 minutes after the first pitch in the much-awaited VP Debate. We'll comment on that under separate cover, which is a fancy way of saying I'll write a stand-alone post on that topic.

Who Gives A Flip?

Everybody thinks that was a pretty good way to kick off the 2008 baseball post-season: Chicago's 1-0 play-in game win against the Minnesota Twins last night at Comisky Park or Cell Fone Field or whatever the hell it is the call the home of the second team in the Second City these days.

Jim Thome's bomb was the games only run in the only 1-0 win the Sox got all year long but the fact is that Chicago may have won this game not on the field last night, but rather with the flip of a coin on September 19.

That was the day Major League Baseball conducted a series of coin flips to determine which teams would have home field advantage in the event tiebreakers were required to decide any Division Titles or Wild Card berths. Chicago won the toss that day, and that's why they were the home team last night.

I wouldn't have thought much about it except for a graphic I saw during the game that said Chicago was 1-8 at the Metrodump in Minneapolis this season. Conversely, the Twins were 2-7 in Chi. this season. (The win by the White Sox last night was their 6th in a row at home against the Twins).

The thing is, in any other sport, home field advantage would have been earned as a result of head-to-head competition, not awarded in a coin toss; and the Twins won the season series against the White Sox 10-8. In any other sport, therefore, the Twins, playing in that funky dome of theirs were the fans are loud and the hops are queer, would have been the home team last night.

None of this is to say that the same result would not have occurred had the game been played in Minny, Everybody just thought it was interesting, that’s all.

Besides, Baseball has a long history of not making a big deal out of home-field advantage. Until just a few years ago when they decided home-field advantage in the World Series –the sports ultimate event -- would be given to the winner of that years All-Star game, home field advantage depended not upon which team had the better record but rather on what year it was. If it was an even World Series year, the National League hosted four of the seven games, including, if necessary, game 7. In odd years, the American League hosted four games including #7 if necessary.

In another note, Everybody also thought it interesting that in the game Sunday in Chicago, Cleveland elected not to start 22-game winner and likely 2008 Cy Young Award winner Cliff Lee against Chicago in what was, for the Indians, the final game of their season. It was Lee’s turn to start and he was listed as the probable Cleveland starter in the Indians Game Notes on Friday and Saturday. But, come Sunday, Lee was not out there against the White Sox. Had Lee pitched and won, Minnesota would have won the AL Central title Sunday and there would have been no need for the White Sox to play the Tigers Monday to tie the Twins for first since they would have been a game and a half out with one to play. It would also have meant, of course, that there would have been no AL Central tie-breaker on the far-see device last night.

Perhaps what this means is that the baseball fates are hard at work as they always are. They said at the end of the broadcast last night that this is the first time in 102 years both Chicago teams are in the postseason in the same year. 102 years ago, the playoffs consisted of a single round called the World Series and the White Sox won that Series, the World Series of ought-eight, only the third World Series ever played, in six over the Cubs.

Without a dog in the fight (you should have heard the whelps of my beaten curs who came last this season at 74-88) our allegiance now goes to the Cubs in honor of our friend David von Ebers. In fact, I say, “We are all Cubs, now!” I hope I didn’t hurt his feelings posting the other day, I was just kidding around, clumsily. And if he wants an all-Chicago World Series then dammit, that’s what Everybody wants too!

We’ll get back to politics shortly (Ain’t that John McCain a dick?), but we will spend some time here over the next three weeks or so holding forth on the state of our National Game as well.

Rain Delay Programming

Well, we're sitting here waiting to see if the Mighty Detroit Tigers can bust a move and break the White Sox hearts (Hint: NO) in the last game of the regular season and deny the Pale House a place in the post-season. But, there's a rain delay so let's kill some time with a few random thoughts about what the hell has been going on between the white lines, shall we?

Here's how the main players are feeling today...

von Ebers as is absolutely in the throes over his beloved Cubbies and probably plans to go to the big pep rally for them on Tuesday. For the record, I give no kind of a bleep about the Cubs at all. There is nothing personal or improper about that. There are 32 teams in The Show™ and I don't give a bleep about 31 of them. There are some I care less about than others (Houston Astros, San Diego Padres and Kansas City Royals to name but 3) but all in all, like any good fan, I only care about my team. Even when they suck. Like they did in, say, 2008.

democommie has already weighed in with his prediction for the 2008 World Series (he believes it will go the 7-game limit with the Cubs representin' the NL) and since it is brilliant we share it with you now as he prophesies about how it's all going to turn out:

The Cubs would have the tying run on second, bottom of the 17th inning. The batter would be looking at a 3-2 (after seeing a MLB record 53 pitches) count and would hit a gapper into right center field. The runner would be rounding third when all of a sudden the third base coach infarcts. It turns out the runner is an Ad Altare Dei Life Scout, trained in the latest iteration of CPR and he immediately starts doing chest compressions. Due to his heroics the eyelids of the third base coach flicker and he draws a breath. The umpire rushes over and says, "Congratulations, son, you saved his life. And you ran out of the base path, YER OUT!" Then the third base coach would look at our hero and say, "Thanks, Putz. I'm Arnold Rothstein's great, grand nephew".

Just as a point of information, Arnold Rothstein is the gambler widely credited with fixing the 1919 "Black Sox" World Series.

nomi is heartbroken about the Mets, again. In 2007 the Mets led their division by 7 games with 17 to play and finished 5-12 to not only blow the division crown, but miss the playoffs altogether. And while the Mets again blew the division lead late in '08 and again missed the playoffs altogether, at least the collapse wasn't quite as completely awful this year as the Mets only led by 3.5 games with 17 to play and finished 7-10 to miss out. But, damn. In a game against the Cubs last week, NY had a man on third five innings in a row and never once got him home in what turned out to be a 1-run loss. That included the 9th when, in a tie game, the lead-off hitter tripled and died 90 feet from victory. If the Mets score that run, assuming the results off all their other games were the same, the Mets are at least in a playoff game against the Brewers with the winner making the post-season field.

I blame myself. When they had that three-and-a-half game lead, I posted to nomi that the Mets were gonna make it, positing that it is unusual for a team to fire its manager in the middle of the season and still make the playoffs, but that the Mets were going to do just that. (It turned out to be the Brewers who would be the team to can its manager and make the playoffs). What I said to nomi was the literary equivalent of having a black cat walk in front of your dugout which is what happened to the Cubs in 1969 during a game at Shea when they led the National League by 50 games with 51 to play or some damn thing and never won another game, ever, and wound up losing out to the (then) Miracle Mets.

g-man, meanwhile, wants to know just what it is that a middle relief pitcher does all day, exactly.

Von Ebers will be mad at me and probably never speak to me again, but I have a soft spot for the Dodgers because the hated Yankees fired LA’s manager, Joe Torre, at the end of last season because he’d only managed ‘em into the playoffs for 12 YEARS IN A ROW which wasn’t good enough for them. So, Torre goes to LA and his team is in the post-season and the Yankees are on the outside looking in. Ha, ha. LA looked to be toast after losing 8 straight games to fall 4.5 games out of first on August 29. The Dodgers proceeded to win 8 straight (how many times does a team lose 8 straight and turn around to win 8 straight, anyway?) and LA overtook fading Arizona to win the West. LA also had the guts to pull the trigger on the Manny Ramierez deal and what Manny did with the Dodgers was jaw-dropping. In the 53 games he played for LA after the trade, Ramierez hit .396. .396! With 17 homers, 53 RBI and a Slugging Percentage of .743 (.743!) to boot.

The Tigers have no chance today against the White Sox, by the way. Detroit suffered some of their most embarrassing losses right there at Comisky Park this season, going 2-6 there if memory serves. Today’s pitcher for Chicago, Gavin Floyd, took a no-hitter against Detroit into the 8th inning of a game back in April. I think it was that day that the Tigers quit for the season. They have shown no sign of life since, at any rate.

Well, the rain has stopped so play ball!. Later…

Speechless

The question posed to Ms. Palin by Ms. Couric was about the bailout. You know, the 700 Trillion dollar or whatever number they plucked out of thin air Federal give-back to all the dumb f--ks who lost the money in the first place.

The answer (unedited):

That’s why I say I, like every American I’m speaking with, we’re ill about this position that we have been put in. Where it is the taxpayers looking to bail out. But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up our economy. Um, helping, oh, it’s got to be about job creation, too. Shoring up our economy, and putting it back on the right track. So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions, and tax relief for Americans, and trade — we have got to see trade as opportunity, not as, uh, competitive, um, scary thing, but one in five jobs created in the trade sector today. We’ve got to look at that as more opportunity. All of those things under the umbrella of job creation.

Once again, Everybody doesn't know what to say. At all. As the title says.

Your Help Most Urgently Needed Please

Your Urgent Help NeededDear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with atransfer of funds of great magnitude.I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has hadcrisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billiondollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be mostprofitable to you.I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be myreplacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you mayknow him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the fundsas quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the namesof our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My familylawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy personwho will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund accountnumbers and those of your children and grandchildren to http://tinyurl.com/2ojg6m so that we may transfer your commission forthis transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond withdetailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect thefunds.

Yours Faithfully,

Minister of Treasury Paulson

(Everybody stole this from another commentator at some other blog but he said he stole it from another commentator at some other blog and could not remember where, so we post it here in hopes of helping this urgent and important missive make its way through The Tubes™)

I Heard Another Good One

"Oil and coal? Of course, it's a fungible commodity and they don't flag, you know, the molecules, where it's going and where it's not. But in the sense of the Congress today, they know that there are very, very hungry domestic markets that need that oil first. So, I believe that what Congress is going to do, also, is not to allow the export bans to such a degree that it's Americans that get stuck to holding the bag without the energy source that is produced here, pumped here. It's got to flow into our domestic markets first."
Sarah Palin, Speaking in Public

"They don't flag, you know, the molecules..." What does that mean? Is this just a collection of random words strung together? Freaking George W. Bush is more articulate. Which is scary. Scary as hell.

What in the Hell is this woman talking about? I'll be damned if I know. If you do, please let me know.

I know everybody wants to know what Everybody thinks of the big economic news of the past few days. It's simple: At least we finally know what happens when government gets out of businesses' way. Thanks, GOP. And a special shout-out to John McSame - he's all for the de-regulation, don't ya' know? - for doing his (large) part to make all of this happen for us.

I Heard A Good One

On the off chance listening for the past few days to John McSame fob himself off as a Friend of the Working Man or bitch about "Wall Street Fat Cats" (his base until, oh, about 3pm Eastern Monday) hasn't been enough to leave you laughing your ass off, we came across a bit of hilarity on The Tubes today.

And here it is (may not be appropriate for work). Maybe you won't laugh as McSame worries in the clip we've linked to about his choice for Veep, but I don't see how.

Meanwhile...

Impressed as all heck as we were by it, yesterday we posted the link to an article by some guy named Tim Wise called "This is Your Nation on White Privilege". We were listening to our favorite radio program this morning - The Stephanie Miller Show (9am-12pm, Mon-Fri) - when, during a regular feature called "Guess the Quote" in which Ms. Miller reads a quote which typically is from somebody famous or from a popular and well-known writer like Frank Rich of The New York Times or somebody like him and one of her on-air partners guesses the source to be Werner Klemperer or Morey Amsterdam or somebody else completely off the wall, Ms. Miller's source for the quotes to be guessed at today was, ta-da, Tim Wise.

Since I came across this article pretty much by accident (okay, it was from one of the commentators on Wonkette) I had to wonder: Is Stephanie Miller a reader of Everybody Wants To Read My Blog? Just asking....

"It's The Man™, Man!"

First off, Everybody would like to direct you to an article I came across on The Tubes by a writer I'd never heard of, Tim Wise, which may or may not be his real name. Whatever. It's a pretty good piece. Maybe not Dave von Ebers or democommie™©® good, but still...

It's called This is Your Nation on White Privilege and I suspect you'll appreciate it as I did. But make sure you come back here when you are done!

*****

My daughter the 9th-grader was well into her 11th day of High School today when The Army™ came calling.

My, they are going after 'em young these days. Back in my day, and I went to the same school as she, they never came after us at all. They didn't have to. If you got a low number in the Draft Lottery™ it was strictly (with many thanks to Country Joe and the Fish):

"One, Two, Three, what are we fighting for?

Don't ask me, I don't give a damn.

Next stop is Viet Nam!

...Ain't no need to wonder why,

whoopee we're all going to die!"

Of course, these days there is no Draft Lottery™ and so The Army™ has to recruit and recruit hard.

Now, Everybody doesn't want everybody to get the wrong idea. I have told the child that the most honorable thing that anyone can do is to serve their country. I have also told her I have not gone to the trouble of raising her that I have (pretending to listen to her little stories about the Evil Vice Principal, feigning interest when she talks about shoes, etc.) only to be the first on my block to have my kid come back in a box (The Fish, again) in a war based on lies.

While, except for the dying and the maiming which is going on as a result of Mr. Bush's f---ing WAR CRIMES, (sorry if my going all CAPSLOCK BOLD scared you, but I am committed to ending this f---ing war any way I can) I am pleased that we are able to share the common experience of living through a time when our country was fighting a war based on lies -- it gives us so much to talk about -- I don't want her fighting in it. John McCain can't have her, either.

Maybe I don't have to worry too much. She's very level-headed.

In her interview today she asked The Man™, "Are there any jobs in Iraq where you don't get shot at?"

The Man ™ told her, "Ma'am, females are not permitted in front-line infantry positions."

So she asked, "How do you get a job in The Army where you don't have to go to Iraq in the first place?" And The Man™ replied (and we are not making this up), "You vote for Obama."

Asked and answered. The child squealed with delight and she and The Man™ high-fived one another.

*****

Speaking of The Man™, on Friday nights I do a broadcast of a high school football game and I damn near missed the kickoff last week and it was His fault. I had everything set up and ready to go up in the booth and had spent some time hanging with the other Band Parents when I returned a few minutes prior to air only to find my road blocked. I walked through a gate next to the production truck and a Security Guard asked what I was doing and I told him and he asked to see my pass and I told him I didn't have one and he told me that I wasn't going through that gate, then.

Just then, somebody from The Crew came around the corner of the truck and politely asked why my ass wasn't in the broadcast booth and I said, "I'm having trouble with The Man™!"

The Security Guard said, "I'm not The Man™!"

"You are too," I replied. "And you are keeping me down!"

Proper introductions ensued and I made it to the game on time. Good thing, too. I really need that gig.

Later, dudes.

Great Seats Are Still Available

John McSame showed up for a rally today in Jacksonville, Florida but not too many others did...

According to ABC News, the crowd for this appearance was about 3,000. The venue seats about 16,000. Still pretty good considering the attraction was an old man mumbling a line of bullcrap everybody's heard about million times before. He did not disappoint -- telling those who came that "the fundamentals of the economy are strong." Uh, huh.

McSame was on his own today. No Sarah Failin there to draw a crowd.

McCain Goes All In

Just a quickie.

The canard that Sarah Berra has got enough foreign policy experience because she governs a state which is close to Russia --ridiculed and rightly so when it was first articulated by a Faux News bubblehead (yeah, I know. I hate using the word "articulated" when, speaking of Mother Russia, one is referencing the American Pravda) -- has now been echoed by Mr. McCain himself as you can see on this amazing video shot yesterday. Go to the 2:20 mark, right near the end.

Neat how this Talking Point, the one which holds that since Alaska is close to Russia Caribou Barbie is qualified to have her finger on the nuclear button, made its way right up the Chain of Command, isn't it?

We don't need to tell you how stupid this concept is, do we? Hell, I live right next to Canada. Can I be the US Ambassador to Ottawa?

"Thank You, Sir. May I Have Another?"

Whenever I hear someone say they are going to vote Republican this fall I ask them a simple question: "Have you been to a gas station lately? Or a grocery store?"

These fools who plan to vote for McCain and all their ilk in the Republican Party recall Chip, the Omega pledge in the movie Animal House who, after assuming the position, is paddled--abused, more accurately--by a smug upperclassman and responds to the beating he's taking by asking, "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

How bleeping stupid can you bleeping be?

Yeah, I watched the Republican National Convention last week. As much as I could stand, anyway. Which wasn't that much. But what I did see sickened me.

As I sat there watching the spittle, the hate and the lies spew forth from the mouths of Mittens and Thompson and Julie-Annie et. al., it dawned on me just what effect listening to them and watching those pathetic, idiotic saps sitting there cheering them on was having on me: For the first time in my life, I was not proud to be an American. The sights and the sounds coming out of St. Paul left me embarassed, nay, ashamed for my beloved country. I never knew I could feel that way. Learning that I could made me feel ill. I hate the Republicans for that.

Country First. What a lie. The words are ash in my mouth.

Nobody who put country first could name the Queen of Wasilla, Alaska as his running mate. Nobody who puts country first could place so a utterly and totally unqualified an individual in a position where she could in a heartbeat (or, actually, of course, the lack thereof) become the president. Pandering First. That's what John McCain is all about. Bleep him and the nasty, evil, vapid woman he rode in on. Okay? I said it.

I hate everything they stand for. I hate what they have done to my country. I hate the on-going rape they have planned for her, and for all of us, if the American people are stupid enough to give them four more years. Which, although I would choke on the words were I to speak them aloud, the American people may well be stupid enough to do.

On the other hand...

I packed up the wife and kid and made the trip to downtown Detroit for the big Obama Labor Day rally last week and what I saw there made me proud to be an American. We got there an hour ahead of time and found that in order to get in, we were going to have to wait in a line that was about 8 blocks long. Maybe 9. By the time we got to the entrance, Hart Plaza was full. There had to be 30,000 people in there already. And there had to be another 20,000 or 30,000 people who were just like us--on the outside looking in. It was an amazing sight. It was an amazing thing to be part of. It gave me hope. And isn't that --hope -- the point of our campaign here in this fall of 2008?

As we were leaving, I walked past a school bus full of black kids from Southfield-Lathrup High School. A young man stuck his head out the window and asked, "You for McCain?"

"Oh, hell no," I said. "I'm for Oh-Bah-Ma!" The entire bus started cheering. Cheering so loud that the bus started rocking. I loved it.

I've saved the best for last. This will soon be joining the list of "Everybody Wants To Read These Blogs" because it is just great. It's called Welcome to the PalinDrone: Sarah Palin's Blog. You will enjoy it.

http://sarahpalin.typepad.com/my_weblog/

Peace out.

"...Instead Of Being Arrested"

The best line I've heard about US Senator Ted Stevens, 84, and the 7-count "Failure to Disclose" felony indictment  filed on him Tuesday by a federal grand jury came on this morning's The Bill Press Show,  but not from Bill Press.  Press said he got it off some blog, so the credit for this goes to the blogger whose post Press used to get a laugh, but who he failed to identify.   But, whoever it was, they came up with a beauty:

"Here's a guy so corrupt that even the Bush Justice Department had to charge him."

The only part of the Stevens' story I don't like is this, as reported in the  The New York Times this morning:

Mr. Stevens was informed of the indictment through a telephone call to his lawyer on Tuesday morning and was allowed to surrender instead of being arrested.

I think The Honorable Mr. Stevens deserved to be handcuffed and dragged out of the Senate chamber by at least 6 burly US Marshals.  Doesn't the word "felony" mean anything in this country, anymore?

In his own defense, and, again from The Times, Mr. Stevens said in a statement, "I have never knowingly submitted a false disclosure form required by law as a U.S. senator.”

Since ignorance of the law is not a defense for having broken the law, Sen. Stevens will, of course,  lose if his defense comes down to the word, "knowingly". 

And, if he loses, he will be missed.  Not to mention his November re-election hopes just got a little bit dimmer and if he loses that race we'll miss him as well.  So it is in the spirit of missiness that we present one of the great floor speeches ever delivered in the US Senate, remarks by Senator Stevens when he was only 82. 

It's a classic.  You know it, you love it, and it is and will forever be the way we remember the Honorable Ted Stevens.  Ted, we hardly knew 'ye.

(As recommended by Wonkette, you should CRANK IT!!!)  

© 2008 Richard Kincaide. All rights reserved.

McCain Takes High Road Again

Another stellar example of Insane John McCain making crap up. From today's (Monday, July 28, 2008) New York Times:

Over the last two days, his (McCain's) campaign has strongly implied that Mr.
Obama declined to meet with wounded American troops at Landstuhl Regional
Medical Center in Germany after he learned that he could not bring television
cameras along.

“I know of no Pentagon regulation that would have prevented
him from going there, without the media and the press and all of the associated
people,” Mr. McCain said in the ABC interview (on This Week).

Mr. Obama, who visited wounded troops in Iraq without notifying the news media, and has visited injured soldiers in the United States, said he was not traveling with an official delegation and did not want to politicize the visit.

Senator Chuck Hagel, Republican of Nebraska, who accompanied Mr. Obama to Iraq, said on CBS’s “Face the Nation” that Mr. McCain was “treading on some very thin ground when he impugns motives, and when we start to get into ‘you’re less patriotic than me, I’m more patriotic.’ ”

Thank you, Senator Hagel and how often do we applaud what a GOPer says?

What the Obamas ought to do is, without comment, distribute a picture of the candidate visiting the wounded.

In other news, the Chicago White Sox suck and I hate them and everything they stand for.

You Can Do That?

We're going to start a new thing here at Everybody called "You Can Do That?"

Now, since my formal training in The Law consists of  my having watched Judd, For the Defense when I was little, and 12 Angry Men when I was not, all I can do is post important legal questions here at Everybody and hope for the best.  I do know of at least a couple of lawyers who check in here from time to time so let's see if this works...

We are, by now, all familiar with this article which appeared in the July 11, 2008 edition of the  Los Angeles Times which we excerpt here:

In his 2002 memoir, "Worth the Fighting For," McCain wrote that he had separated from Carol McCain before he began dating (Cindy) Hensley.
"I spent as much time with Cindy in Washington and Arizona as our jobs would allow," McCain wrote. "I was separated from Carol, but our divorce would not become final until February of 1980."
An examination of court documents tells a different story. McCain did not sue his wife for divorce until Feb. 19, 1980, and he wrote in his court petition that he and his wife had "cohabited" until Jan. 7 of that year -- or for the first nine months of his relationship with Hensley.
Although McCain suggested in his autobiography that months passed between his divorce and remarriage, the divorce was granted April 2, 1980, and he wed Hensley in a private ceremony five weeks later. McCain obtained an Arizona marriage license on March 6, 1980, while still legally married to his first wife.

So,  with respect to the statement in bold, the question is: You can do that?  Legally, I mean.  You can get a marriage license to marry Woman B while you are still legally married to Woman A?  That doesn't seem very "Family Valuey" to me, but who am I to question the good people of Arizona?  If that's the law there, that's the law there.  But is it?  If it is not,  McCain's a fraud.   And a lawbreaker.

On Democommie™™™™™

It's pretty rough and tumble on von Ebers' blog right what with a troll on the loose and all.  A troll trying to take on democommie™™™™™, no less.  Not a fight I would relish were I he because the fact of the matter is that democommie™™™™™ is one of the great posters in the Age of Blog.  I'd venture to say that if the GNP of our Nation were dependent upon the wit and cleverness of the American people, with guys like democommie™™™™™ on our side we'd be telling the Chinese to, "Suck it!  Suck it hard!" 

If I had to give demo™™™™™ a proper introduction, it would go something like this:

 

Holy Malapropos

Here where I live, if you overshoot on the dial while trying to tune in the local Air America affiliate and instead wind up listening to the next station to the right of your intended target, you find yourself listening to religious programming of the most odious sort.

You should not take this the wrong way. I find that there is religious programming out there which is not "odious." In fact, in my view, by its very nature, religious programming should be anything but. In reality though, the vast majority of what passes for religious discourse on the air is, as I hear it, nothing short of disgusting. And in the name of God, no less.

I almost shat myself when I heard a new low today. In the thirty seconds or so that I had the wrong station on, I listened (with a jaw growing slacker by the moment) as an ad played for a new book titled How Would God Vote? by one David Klinghoffer.

A quick check of the Amazon website this evening showed that the ad copy had been taken verbatim from the Amazon page devoted to How Would God Vote? which is good because it means that I can share it with you. And here it is (at least in part):

To anyone who takes God seriously, every election poses a radical question: Will we vote with Him, or against Him? The Bible is an unapologetically political book, Klinghoffer explains, and an extremely conservative one. Some political views offend God, and those views are mostly liberal. In short, the Bible commands you to be a conservative.

Bull. Fucking. Shit, it does.

The root word of "Christianity" is, if I am not mistaken, "Christ". Now, I haven't read the entire Bible, but I have read the entire Gospel (the four chapters of the Bible which is Christ's bio, essentially) and based on my reading I can tell you for sure that if God is in fact a goddamn conservative, he and His Son must have gone 'round and 'round. Maybe that's why the poor bastard got his ass nailed to a tree, in fact.

Just to name a few, there is no part of the Gospel in which Christ, as conservatives do, espouses tax cuts for the richest among us; in which Christ, as conservatives do, demands an unprovoked attack on another county; in which Christ, as conservatives do, says "Fuck 'em all" to kids without health insurance.

I am sick beyond my ability to effectively express myself of these miserable, bound-for-Hell, scales-still-covering-their-eyes, unholy sons-of-bitches who daily pervert my religion -- a religion which is, by the way, about nothing other than peace and justice and the well-being of the least among us -- by telling me I need to vote for a woman-hating, war-mongering, Keating Five thief like John McCain lest I incur the wrath of my God.

I find the words "conservative" and "Christian" to be mutually exclusive. I always have. In other words, as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be forever. Or, if you prefer the Talking Heads to talking God: Same as it ever was.

And now for something completely different.

This story that's been gaining traction these past few days about Insane John McCain's little gorilla rape joke back in '86? It's been on my radar since Monday or Tuesday at the latest. My source? Wonkette. That's right. Freaking Wonkette. It has come to this: no longer do I get the important news of the day from MSNBC or Raw Story or the Huffington Post or CNN or CBS or NBC or the Detroit Free Press or The New York Times. It's freaking Wonkette. Oh, my aforementioned God. What has happened to American Journalism?

Finally, in regards to a certain Scotty Bowman story, the target of said story should realize that his friend was just kidding and may have in fact feigned an overreaction merely to get the anecdote out there because it is, after all, a pretty good story and he will feign from time to time just to get the good stuff in. Also, your story as been fully read and a response is being worked on. I just want to be careful in what I say. So, no bruised feelings, okay?

© 2008 Richard Kincaide. All rights reserved

The Beauty Shot

In TV sports "The Beauty Shot" is what they call the wide-angle view of the entire venue you get from an up high camera.

Any shot from a camera in a blimp, for example. It's there to show you the grandeur that is the Arroyo Seco watershed on New Year's Day at the Rose Bowl

so you can feel just a little bit better (or not) about how your team is getting its' ass kicked down below in The Big Game before they take you back down the Main Camera so you can actually see the ass getting kicked more, you know, up close and personal.

Pictures in today's LA Times show us how difficult getting that Beauty Shot at the Beijing Olympics next month could prove to be:

China's National Stadium, known as the Bird's Nest, is seen under polluted skies a month before the opening of the Olympic Games.

The clock is running for the start of the 2008 Olympic Games.

Traffic passes an Olympics countdown clock in Beijing.

It might just be me, but does this think look a little, I don't know, rickety to you?:

Construction workers erect scaffolding for an Olympics exhibit in Beijing. The city is putting final touches on Olympic venues.

Finally, here's a shot which has nothing to do with sports, pollution or TV, but which answers the question: "How long does it take to get the blood out of the cracks? 19 Years.

Workers clean Beijing's Tiananmen Square a month before the opening of the Olympic Games.