Road Trip!

I know most of you don't have time to scroll through yet another Wonkette post as the Big Three CEOs today take another field trip to DC (driving there in cars built by the companies they head instead of flying there in corporate jets this time) to ask, hats in hand, for 25, uh, 34 billion in loans to save their asses and the three million or so jobs which depend on those asses.  So I've done it for you.  The highlights so far:

OK, so who’s going to be the brave filmmaker who turns this into a road movie? I imagine scenes in which:

• They hit the Bunny Ranch
• They get lost in the “wrong part of town” and lose their hubcaps
• Their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere and Alan Mullaly has to change the fan belt
• They  pick up a hitch-hiker who may or may not be a serial killer
• They fight over what radio station to listen to
• Rick Wagoner ties Robert Nardelli’s shoes together while he’s sleeping
• They dig up an old bottle of “Dom Perignon” they buried in Death Valley 10 years earlier
• They go skinny dipping just outside Oram, Utah and someone steals their clothes
• They finally arrive in D.C. with a completely changed outlook on life

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“Yes, Congressman, we feel we have comprehensive plan to make the most of the $34 billion we’re requesting.”
“Uh, Mr. Waggoner, wasn’t it $25 billion?”
“Two weeks ago, it was. But after we put our heads together and came up with an actual plan, we found that the figure was more like $42 billion.”
“Wait — you just — ”
“And with this $47 billion, we think we can get on a sound footing — for the next three or four months, at least.”

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Is this a milestone when the CEOs all rode in one of their products? There was a deeply transformative moment when Wagoner started sniffing the air and said, “Is this what they all smell like?” Nardelli got carsick and Mulally was just annoying the whole time, reading out the signs of failing businesses along the highway as they drove...