I got the MLB.TV package for being such a great dad a couple of weeks ago and I can't bring myself to look away. I checked in on 11 different games a couple of nights ago. Right now, here on the 4th of July, I'm watching the Red Sox/Yankees. The only thing I can say for sure is that Red Sox 1B Kevin Youkilis is the ugliest man in Organized Ball ( OB). In a Top Ten Ugliest Guys in Major League Baseball contest, he'd be #1 thru, like, 5.
Anyway...
A "friend" has written to me inquiring as to whether I would mind if he posted, on the world-wide web, Back-in-the-Day tales from our shared yootz. Tales which involve what were all very hellaciously good ideas at the time but which, seen in today's light (now that we are parents and The Responsible Party and all, O.M.G.) have the potential to embarrass.
But, that would be true only of someone with pride and/or shame which, and I doubt I have to tell you this, would not be me. Because, as you know: "Richie? He don't give a f---."
So, I'm okay with it as long as we didn't have sex. We didn't, right? Good. (I'd been drinking and I don't remember the whole thing--our now better than 30-year relationship).
I think I'd go with the pseudonyms, though. And none of that "Nick" and "Alex" crap like you suggested. Sounds waaay too gay to me, buddy.
I want to be called, "Brock Landers."
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7 comments:
You mean you don’t want to be called “Buck Naked”?
Dave,
Buck's been dead for a long time but his estate would probably sue. He used to appear with his band as Buck Naked and the Car Thieves on the Steve Allen Show. He recorded one of those racous you had to be there kind of albums before he died that shows up in the best unknown record lists from time to time.
Dave,
I misspoke. The guy on Steve Allen was Buck's brother Stark Naked. His music is available on itunes. As far as I can tell Buck's stuff is out of print.
Gmanitou
Nuh, uh. You're both wrong. "Brock Landers" was the name of the actor who played the ridiculously large-dicked character "Dirk Diggler" in the X-Rated movies depicted in the movie, Boogie Nights -- a troubling tale of life in the porn industry in the '70's with a great cast (Mark Wahlberg played Brock/Dirk and people, girls, mostly, tell me I look just like Mark Whalberg) and an outstanding sound track.
Watch it with the kids. Or invite a church group over...
You won't believe this, but a couple of mornings ago over breakfast (before you brought it up) I was thinking about nearly getting you to stroke out in the middle of the night on the 401 when I saw that "spaceship". That was a great night. We got into The Gardens for free, remember? Pretty good seats, too, all in all. Maple Leafs and Blues. 1st time I'd ever been there. But, so was Robert Frost's grave a first. And Taft's. And JFK's.
I'm Halfway through your story (not that 7 ½ ounce beers ain't interesting) and will finish soon and provide react.
The trip was a pretty amazing memory. We had breakfast at the White House, say the Piston play the 76ers and saw the aforesaid TO vs St.Louis game. I remember we worked on our story for the border crossing back into Michigan for about half an hour to explain where we had been, what the car was wrecked and a number of other loose ends. When we got to the border at 2 or 3 am the guy simply said Citizenship? We answered US and he waived us in. All those mental gymnastics for naught.
Sorry about the typos. My fingers are drinking again...
You know I have often tried to get my mind around how to write the story about the Clemens Street party. I mean how do I work in the boxer, his gay experience in the upstairs bathroom, the amount of LSD that he had consumed, the guys from the Attorney General’s office that thought it was a costume party, Sister Cherries Jubilee and Sister Merry Joystick, and why he came back with that 9mm Glock to talk to us all. When I get that one done I will feature you prominently in the telling. Didn’t we end up at Theo’s after the police left for breakfast at about 5 a.m.?
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