Your Urgent Help NeededDear American:
I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with atransfer of funds of great magnitude.I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has hadcrisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billiondollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be mostprofitable to you.I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be myreplacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you mayknow him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the fundsas quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the namesof our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My familylawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy personwho will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund accountnumbers and those of your children and grandchildren to http://tinyurl.com/2ojg6m so that we may transfer your commission forthis transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond withdetailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect thefunds.
Yours Faithfully,
Minister of Treasury Paulson
(Everybody stole this from another commentator at some other blog but he said he stole it from another commentator at some other blog and could not remember where, so we post it here in hopes of helping this urgent and important missive make its way through The Tubes™)
Reflecting on Richard Hauptmann
2 years ago
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9 comments:
Richard,
Once again I may be "borrowing" your material!
My fond regards to your daughter and the whole family,
Creation Schwartzkopf P.
(aka Nomi)
Richard ... I got dibs on this: You know the, uh, "time out" McCain called today? Well, I've dubbed it the ... wait for it ... Chris Webber Strategy™!
Bein' a Michigander, I figured you'd appreciate that.
Oh, an' I'm gonna trademark that sonofabitch before it takes off, too.
Dave:
Nice. I hate them damn Wolverines. Happy "Merkle Boner Day", btw. Ne Merkle Boner on this date in 1908, no Cubs win in the 1908 Series because Chi would not have won the pennant that year.
Nomi: Laura gets quite the kick out of having my stuff show up on other people's blogs (OPB)...even if I've ripped off the material to begin with. And sorry about the Metropolitans. I watched that thing against the Cubs tonight: Blowing a 5-1 lead, leaving a man at third with none out in the bottom of the 9th...leaving a runner at third five innings in a row. God Almighty...
Richard, I have to say I was not familiar with Merkle Boner. You learn something new every day. I love that name – Merkle Boner – sounds like an early 20th Century baseball name if ever there was one.
I confess, though – my knowledge of Cubs trivia pre-Sam Sianis and the Billy Goat Curse is rather limited.
And Nomi, I have to apologize for the Cubs’ rude behavior last night. It was downright greedy of them to beat the Mets when they (the Cubs) had nothing left to play for, having secured home field advantage throughout and all. Oddly, the White Sox are doing every thing they can to implode … and thus to undermine my prediction that the Sox will dash the Cubs’ Hundred Year Hopes in the Fall Classic.
We shall see …
I gor yer Merkle Boner right here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merkle_Boner
100 years since the Merkle boner? How time flies.
The Giants had several more games to play after that game, and had the won one more game, would have gone to the Series.
And I'm not sure where the shame was in losing to a team that featured Tinkers, Evers, Chance, Mordecai Brown, a very, very good team.
Poor Fred Merkle.
Sad, isn’t it, that Merkle’s not alive today. Imagine the marketing possibilities. Viagra, Cialis. The sky’s the limit. That, or the four-hour erection.
He didn't give you credit -- and I apologize the email I sent out did not give Everybody credit -- but my friend Matt posted the Your Help Most Urgently Needed Please on his [well read]blog:
http://www.rifuture.org/
I copied and emailed it to about a dozen folks, one of whom got upset for missing the humor...
nomi:
I e-mailed it to a friend who said when he got it he wondered why I was sending him one of those bogus Nigerian e-mail scams! Ya gotta laugh. No big deal on the no-credit. Like I said, I got it somewhere else.
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