How To Decide The Democratic Race

What we need here is an old-fashioned ass-kicking contest. All right, I know we've got one going on now as the two Democratic candidates flail at one another, but it's the wrong fight.

What the Democratic candidates ought to do -- from this point forward -- is decide the issue of who will win the presidential nomination by seeing which of them can tear grandpa McSame the biggest new asshole. That is to say, instead of trying to tear each other a new one, they ought to tear him a new one. They should focus on that which unites us and that which unites us is the overriding conviction that Straight Jacket Express will continue in the same direction the current Pretendident is taking America, that direction, of course, being right over the cliff.

Such a contest would provide we the people with the most useful metric possible. We need a fighter, first and foremost. So, show us who's the best at it.

We Democrats love our red meat just as much as the Rethuglicans love theirs and when it comes to Grampy, we are talking about a target-rich environment.

He, for example, hypocritically whines about Obama's minister saying "god damn America" while at the same time having sought and and won the endorsement of a pastor who said the same thing. Worse, even. John Hagee said Hurricane Katrina was God's punishment upon New Orleans for tolerating (oh, my God) homosexuals. What the "Reverend' Hagee is saying is not "god damn America", but rather, that God has already damned America.

Grampy is guilty of adultery. He started his affair with his rich trophy wife while still married to the first Mrs. McCain. Let's not forget that while he was in that hellhole of a North Vietnamese POW camp, she was back home living in her own kind of hell as she pondered his fate. Her reward? Her husband dumped her. Nice family values kind of guy.

And why hasn't there been a stink about his tax returns? His campaign released his but not hers, and she's the one with the 100 million dollars. He's the one living off her dime. He's the one with the nerve to call Obama an "elitist" while he himself (or, more accurately, she herself) owns eight homes. No wonder he's come to his senses and now supports the massive tax breaks for the wealthiest among us after voting against them in the US Senate.

And lest you think that it was that vote which makes him a "maverick", don't forget that in the past sorry seven years, McSame has voted with Shrub 85% of the time. Maverick? Maverick, my ass.

Stop kicking each others' asses, you two. Kick his ass. For the good of my country, kick it good!