The Deceits of Tori Hunter

I saw my favorite play of the year and maybe of all time here at Comerica Park last night. Lies and the lying liars who tell them…

Here’s the setup: runner on first (Boston’s Mike Napoli) and less than two out; fly ball, medium depth to right. Detroit right fielder Tori Hunter settles in underneath it and is prepared to make the catch when all of a sudden he holds both of his hands out palms up and begins wildly shaking his head side-to-side, searching desperately. Hunter’s lost the ball in the lights or against the sky and he is trying to find it and he cannot. 

Napoli has done exactly that which he is coached to do. He has proceeded as far towards second as he can while still being able to return safe to first after the catch. But when he sees Hunter has lost the ball, he takes another half-step towards second. Just a half of a step--and now he’s dead.

Hunter hasn’t lost the ball at all. At the last instant he reaches out, catches it and in the one-motion move common to a Big League outfielder, fires a strike to first. Napoli is out by an eyelash.

I’m watching this and I say, “Oh, my God! He did that on purpose!”

I was telling my daughter about it over breakfast this morning, complete with the same “I lost it” pantomime, and she’s all, like, “You can do that?” “Oh, yes,” I said. “It’s part of the game; always has been. They do this sort of thing all the time. They lie to your face. They openly attempt to deceive. They’ll pretend they have the ball in their glove even if they don’t if they think it will make a runner think twice about going for an extra base. I remember a couple of years ago and A-Rod was on third in Seattle or someplace and there’s a pop fly to the left side of the infield and he starts yelling, ‘I got it, I got it!’ The Seattle shortstop backs off thinking he’s hearing his teammate call for the catch when it’s really his opponent A-Rod who’s doing the yelling and now there’s nobody in position to make the catch and the ball falls free for a hit. The Mariners are steamed. They accuse A-Rod of cheating. I said, ‘No, it’s not: Part of the game.”

“Well,” Laura said. “Tori Hunter is my new favorite Tiger!”

I asked Tori about the play this afternoon before the game and he said it’s the sixth or seventh time in his career he’s pulled it off. This one however was, he said, the sweetest because the guy he victimized, Napoli, was his teammate in Los Angeles for three years and should have known better as he’s seen Hunter pull this exact trick before and he’s seen it with his own eyes. Hunter got a hit later in the game and when he got to first, Napoli, the Boston first baseman said, “I’m not talking to you!

Hunter said this was the first time the play has worked in an outdoor stadium. He used to do it “all the time” when he played for the Twins at the Metrodome because outfielders would lose the ball all the time against the notoriously bad background of the Teflon roof there—so when he pulled the fake there it was plausible to his victims he’d lost the ball. He said he waited to try it here last night until twilight because it’s plausible that an outfielder will lose a fly ball in the gloaming—other than having the sun in your eyes, it’s the most likely time for a player to lose the ball against the sky.

You could tell Tori really enjoyed getting Napoli’s goat last night. His smile was wide (you could see it from up here) after the umpire called Napoli out. Tori always has a good time out there. Ask him if he don’t. I did. As he sees it, it’s like playing basketball against your brother. You are going to shove and you are going to elbow and you are going to do whatever you can to win, but you are still having fun. It made me think of something, and I said it to him: I have never in all the years seen a ballplayer smile on the field as often as Tori Hunter.

In the game here tonight—quite literally as I write these words—Hunter is called out trying to steal second base. (Steal? There he goes again…) He has beaten the play. The umpire calls him out anyway. Inning over. Hunter protests. He is arguing. And, naturally, as he is all up in the umpires face, he is smiling. Ruefully perhaps, but smiling nonetheless.

Fun At Aaron's Wedding

All right, boys.  Sorry about the delay, but here's the skinny on My Night at Aaron's Wedding.

First off, NO KOGEL DOGS!  (I had been told there would be Kogel Dogs.)  There was, upon arrival, a lovely spread of various salads and pickles and olives and crackers--the liver pate was my personal favorite--and there was an open bar, so my disappointment in, (not to mention my remembrance of) the Dog situation was short-lived.

Now, here's the thing: I told my wife I was going to wear a brown checked sportscoat and tan slacks and she said, and I quote, "You will look nice in that."  Well, perhaps, but this was a pretty REALLY Orthodox affair and of all the men there--and the crowd it seemed to me was maybe 300 people--I was the only one not wearing a black suit.  I could not have stood out more had I simply worn my goalie gear, complete with skates and mask.  Here's what I mean.

Can you spot the Gentile in this photograph?

As for the Groom, he was at the head table in a room set aside from the main reception hall as the wedding guests arrived and scarfed down all of that pre-wedding food.  It was interesting in that they had all of the men in one room and all of the women in another.  Personally, I would have rather hung out with all the girls, but hey, that's just me.  Anyway, here's our man now, during what, for want of a better term, I would call the Pregame, about an hour or so before the ceremony itself.

Note the ample supply of alcoholic beverages at the ready...

About an hour and a half after arrival, Aaron was ushered into the Wedding Hall itself amid much fanfare and loud singing and the ceremony began.  At least I think it did.  I was hanging back with our lawyer buddy Solomon and we didn't exactly have the best seats in the house.  We were Standing Room Only, in fact.

Say buddy, how about taking off that hat? I can't seem a damn thing back here!

Solomon, in addition to being a fine young attorney and hockey player, was a veritable font of information.  During the vows (which we pretty much couldn't hear anyway) he told me, well actually, first he told me, "Mazeltov!" to which I said, "Dude, that's not even a word," and he then told me things like, for example, every woman there was wearing a wig.  Some sort of a custom. Even the girls with beautiful hair of their own were wearing wigs. They all looked very nice, in case you were wondering.  Then he told me that when we got to the reception hall, I would find it divided by a curtain designed to keep the men on one side and the women on the other and that the men would dance with men and the women would dance with women and I said, "Well, that's just messed up."

The last time I got invited to a guys-only party, I'm not going to lie to you, things could have turned out better.

Although they did set a fine table, I must say.

WAY too nice for Kogel Dogs although Paulie's jerky would have fit right in.

Anyway, I decided I would leave at this point even if there were a couple of guys who I was kinda hoping would ask me to dance.  And on my way out, I got the money shot.  The Happy Couple!

I told you guys she was really pretty!

So, our best wishes to the Newlyweds from all of us at the Oak Park Hockey Guys Who Play on Tuesdays and Thursdays!

Why I'm Voting for President Obama

I'm voting for President Obama because...
Instead of losing 700,000+ jobs per month as we were at the end of the previous Administration, we have had 38 consecutive months of private sector job growth.
General Motors is alive.
Osama Bin Laden isn't.
Insurance companies can no longer deny coverage due to pre-existing conditions.
Insurance companies have to spend 80% of every dollar they take in in premiums on actual health care.
Insurance companies cannot impose a lifetime limit on coverage.
My daughter can stay on our health care plan until she is 26.
Student loan rates are down because the government has (rightfully) taken the program over again, removing the profit motive, reducing rates, stopping the gouging of the young people.
Our house lost 40% of its value the last time we had a Republican in office.
The war in Iraq is over.
The war in Afghanistan is about to be over.
I've read the Ryan Budget.  It's horrifying.
Mr. Romney called the Ryan Budget "marvelous" and said he would sign it, "happily."
I am against the privatization of Social Security.
I am against turning Medicare into a voucher system.
Mr. Ryan's self-confessed political inspiration Ayn Rand is a total psychopath.
Mr. Romney won't release his tax returns.  I conclude the only reason for him to so refuse is because there is something in there that he knows would end his chances to become President were that something to become public.
Mr. Romney believes it is fair for him to pay a tax rate of less than 15% because he makes his money on capital gains, while my family pays over 30% because our income results from actual work.
Mr. Romney lies.  Repeatedly and even when his lies (such as Jeep moving production from Toledo to China but there are many, many others) are obvious and demonstrable.
Mr. Romney likes firing people:

Mr. Romney's top adviser on the judiciary is Robert Bork.  (Really? Robert Bork?)

This is just what I've got off the top of my head.

Urban Meyer is a Big, Fat Liar

I spent almost an hour a few weeks ago reading a LONG article in Sports Illustrated about how Urban Meyer's family assented to letting him return to coaching college football only after he signed a pledge to them promising he would change his ways: that he would be more mellow; that he would possess (and display) a more developed sense of perspective and priority.  I was happy for him.  The article quoted him as saying that his behavior at Florida was such that it both adversely affected his health and damaged his family.  So I thought, "good on him".  And I mentally wished him he best.  And I in so doing I was duped.  Anybody who saw Urbie on the Spartan Stadium sideline Saturday now knows that the entire SI article about The New Urban Meyer, every word of it, was utter bullshit.  There he was, completely out-of-control, (making fucking Woody Hayes seem mellow for Christ's sake), going 20 yards out onto the field to argue a penalty and only by some miracle NOT being flagged for a fifteen-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty.  I'll tell you what, I was sure he was going to assault himself a zebra right then and there.  Not that there is anything in particular wrong with that.  That's just how coaches, by and large, are.  Just don't go telling a national publication and by extension me, how you are a changed man, 'kay?  And now we learn that Meyer sent Michigan State an incomplete game film the week before the game, a tape edited so the Spartan coaching staff wouldn't be able to see the shifts and formation changes the Buckeyes were making prior to snapping the ball.  It wasn't a huge deal, it was just a crappy, unsportsmanlike, unprofessional bush league thing to do.  So, now we know the truth about Urban Meyer.  He's the same jagoff asshole he's always been.  So fuck him.

Let's Watch the Spartans and the Eagles!

Tim Staudt, one of the best sportscasters in America but a guy you probably have never heard of if you don't live in the Lansing area (he's been on the air here since I was an MSU student and I was an MSU student a long, long time ago) coined a phrase in advance of last week's Massachusetts at Michigan game.  With UM favored by fifty-something, he called it not a football game, but rather a "football demonstration."

That's what we have here this afternoon with MSU giving 33 against an Eastern Michigan team which has never, ever defeated a Big Ten opponent (0-30), and which is 0-8 all-time against the Spartans.

The nub of it is this: no matter what they do here at Spartan Stadium this afternoon, MSU can't win.  If they blow 'em out by 50 everybody will say, "Big deal, it's Eastern.  They've given up 37 at Ball State, 31 to Illinois State (not Illinois, Illinois State), and 54 to Purdue.  That's 122 points in 3 games!"  If State doesn't win by 50, it will feel like a loss.

What happened last week in that 20-3 loss to Notre Dame on a Saturday night which began with MSU ranked 10th in the nation; with both expectations and the Goodyear Blimp sky high; with a National TV audience tuned in?  The explanation is, as is so often the case, oh-so simple: MSU got beat at the point of attack on both sides of the ball.  Notre Dame--rushing four against the Spartans five for most of the night--kept the pressure on MSU quarterback Andrew Maxwell while holding Le'Veon Bell to 77 yards on 19 carries.  (Although it seemed odd to most of us that in a game in which MSU was down only 11 for most of the second half, they gave the ball to Bell only four (4!) times after halftime.)  The defensive line allowed ND to rush for more than twice as many yards as MSU (122-50) and rarely got pressure on Irish quarterback Everett Golson.  Additionally, Spartan receivers dropped way too many balls and the harried Maxwell made a few poor decisions.

The result is a humbled Spartan team falling to #20 with plenty to work on here this afternoon.

The more interesting game, and the more interesting question is how will Notre Dame do against Michigan tonight in South Bend (7:30 Eastern on NBC).  Michigan has beaten ND three straight, scoring the winning touchdown in the final thirty seconds in each of those games, including last year's Game for the Ages when ND scored the go-ahead TD with :30 left on the clock, only to see UM win it with a TD with :02 left.  It was one of the best college games ever played.  Here's a nice stat.  We mentioned the Wolverines have won those 3 in a row against the Irish.  The last time Michigan beat Notre Dame four in a row was in 1908.

We'll probably get home from East Lansing in time for the second half.

The Spartan Band takes the field at we're about fifteen away from kickoff.  We'll keep you posted....

(Oh, Central just hit a walk-off field goal after recovering an on-side kick and they beat Iowa 32-31.  The Press Box erupted.  Fans here in East Lansing know exactly how this feels since that is exactly what the Chips did right here in this Stadium, what, three years ago?)

State gets the ball to start the game and converts a third and one before going and three and out on the next set of down and punting.  On 3rd and ten, Maxwell made a poor decision and tucked it under way to early.  Eastern was only rushing three, and Maxwell had time to look for an open man but he didn't take it.  The Eagles pick up a first and they move into MSU territory the first time they have the ball today.

The Eagles for for it on 4th and one at the MSU 36 but are denied, so, after a TV timeout (the game is on the Big Ten Network which sort of counts as TV) the Spartans will commence their second possession of the afternoon.  It was, by the way, 58 degrees at kickoff under mostly cloudy skies and the wind was blowing out of the northwest at either 8 or 13 miles per hour, depending on which source one chooses to believe.  Right now, wind does not appear to be a factor down on the field.

Maxwell is driving me nuts.  After Bell ran for 22 and 15 yards on consecutive carries, Maxwell threw underneath and incomplete to Aaron Burbridge. Even had the ball been caught, Burbidge--the freshman from Farmington Hills Harrison (I called Harrison's 27-20 loss to Southfield last night, a game Harrison led 17-0 at the half after holding the Bluejays to 2 yards of offense in the first half)--would never had made the line to make.  We saw the same thing numerous times last Saturday night, Maxwell failing to throw to a receiver who had made it to the first down marker on a third down passing attempt.  He has to improve in that regard.  Oh, and then Dan Conroy missed from 39 (his 3rd FG miss this season) and it remains scoreless here with now under 5 to play in the first.

Bell, 62y in 8 rushes, gains 16 on first down but Maxwell misses badly on a pair of third-and-12 throws and that is that.  The Spartans punt again.  Still no score.  Not a sellout here today, by the way. It appears a lot of the students have elected to spend the afternoon in their dorm rooms.

Did we mention Purdue scored 54 on these guys last week?  MSU fails to score in the first quarter here today, gaining 84 yards of total offense, 76 of those by Bell on ten carries.  After One: EMU 0, MSU 0.

Bell gets to 100 yards on his 13th carry with a little over 12 minutes left in the second but the drive stalls so Conroy comes on to hit a 35y field goal with 10:06 left in the first half.  Points are on the board at long last and MSU leads EMU 3-0.

Uh, Michigan State, giving 33, is trailing Eastern Michigan at halftime here 7-3.  Picking up where they left off against Notre Dame when they were 1/8 in second half third-down conversions, MSU goes 1/8 on third down in the first half today.  Maxwell is 9/19 for 31 yards.  The only bright spot--and I mean the only bright spot, is Le'Veon Bell: 117y on 17 rushes.  An MSU fumble gave the Eagles the ball at the Spartan 23 and Eastern got a TD toss on the first snap after the turn.  HALFTIME: EASTERN MICHIGAN 7, MICHIGAN STATE 3.

Bell carries on each of the first 5 plays run by MSU in the second half, so he has more touches in the second half today (5) than he did in the entire second half last Saturday night (4). Maxwell thrown underneath again on third down so MSU comes up short and Conroys hits a 45y FG with 9:25 left in 3rd.  MSU pulls to within one, trails 7-6.

Here's the good news.  I don't think EMU can move the ball on MSU.  The Eagles have 84y of offense and only 4 first downs.  So, if the Spartans donn't turn it over again, they should be able to come back and win this thing.

EMU turns it over at their 41 and MSU gains a grand total of 3y, punts.  Frustrating.

Maxwell finally hits a couple downfield--finding TE Dion Sims for 16 and then 17 on consecutive plays.  Holding (naturally) stalls the drive and Conroy's 3rd field goal of the day is a 35-yarder that gives MSU a 9-7 lead with 1:11 left in the third.

Touchdown, MSU.  Been a while.  Maxwell hits Sims (4 2nd-half catches) with a ten-yard scoring strike as MSU goes 89 in 12 to move ahead 16-7.  7:19 left, so it looks like they will get out of here with a win.  I have to leave for the post-game interviews in a couple of minutes which is a shame because I've been watching the A's-Yankees game out of the corner of my eye and what a show in the Bronx.  Oakland hit three homes and scored 4 in the top of the 13th for a 9-5 lead, NY has just scored 4 to tie in their half of the 13th.

Back from the interviews and I think Mark Dantonio was, well, upset.  We'd ask and he'd answer, "Yes, next question."  I'm pretty sure you'll see it in SportsCenter.  MSU scored late while we were down on the field and they win 23-7.  They will, most certainly, have to play better one week from today here to beat Ohio State.  The Tigers beat the Twins 8-0, Chicago is at LA at nine.  We'll be at Comerica tomorrow, we'll talk to you then.

Let's Watch the Spartans and the Irish!

Michigan State is in trouble here at Spartan Stadium.  Their defense, which had not surrendered a touchdown in the first two games, has given up two in the first twenty minutes and the Spartans are down 14-0 with a little over 9 minutes left in the second quarter.  State's offense isn't exactly lighting it up.  That MSU has had 9 third down snaps already (converting 5) is telling.  State is having some trouble moving the ball.   Their long game is a 19-yard pass.

I think the thing to do is to remember not last years game against the Irish (a 31-13 ND win in South Bend), but rather last year's Wisconsin game here where MSU trailed 14-0 as they do tonight.

State down 14-3 at the half.  Their long drive so far is 49 yards.  They have been out-gained 189-121 in spite of having run 6 more plays than the Irish.  They are 4 of 9 on third downs and have had ten third down snaps tonight, but one doesn't count as a play as ND was called for a penalty.  Andrew Maxwell is 10/18 for 74, Notre Dame's Everett Golson is 7/19 for 126 and a TD.  MSU gets the ball to start the second half...

MSU finally got a little drive going as they moved from own 11 to near midfield but a holding call and a dropped third down pass put an end to that.  MSU now 4/12 on 3rd down, and they are still down 14-3 to the Irish as we move under 6 to play in third.

MSU makes first big mistake in this game--a roughing the kicker call gives ND a 1st down and keeps drive alive under 4 to go in 3rd.

Total y about even & ND has no drive longer than 51y-but have scored on both their 51y drives. MSU long drive 49y. In 4th now 14-3 ND

If ND weren't 1/10 in 3rd down coveresions, I'll tell you what, this game would probably be over.  3rd down #14 coming up for MSU now and they fail and are 4-14 after a complete pass is short of the line to make.

Let's Watch the Lions and the Rams, Shall We?

As I settle in for the afternoons activity here at Ford Field, here's what's on my mind prior to the Lions season opener:  HOW CAN THE TIGERS BE A .448 TEAM ON THE ROAD AND A .606 TEAM AT HOME?  HOW?  I'm going to read the Game Notes now and maybe take a Xanex and will report back soon on football-related matters.

So, just the past Monday I happened to be outside Gaylord Family Stadium, home of the Oklahoma Sooners, and I saw Sam Bradford's statue.  I didn't even know he had a statue.  But he does.  So too do former Lions Billy Sims and Steve Owens.  So there is that.  Truth be told, I don't know what to make of any of this, except that here in person this afternoon I'll see Bradford in real life as he QB's the St. Louis Rams.

Stafford smartly drives Lions down field on first drive of 2012, 77 in 13, 6 Firsts.  He's 7/9 on the drive for 53.  Only problem is that on first and goal from the 3....he throws a pick and the Lions get no points on a drive that took 6:06.

Pretty clear that St. Louis can't stop Detroit as Lions--on their second posses--drive into the Red Zone again.  Trailing 3-0, but that is about to change...

Sorry, no updates for a while there.  The Lions should be killing these guys (they've outgained 'em 231-91) but they aren't.  3 Matthew Stafford intercepts have led to all the points the Rams have scored here as they somehow lead the Lions 13-10 as the second half begins.  St. Louis simply can't stop the Lions.  The problem in the first half was that the Lions were stopping themselves.  Stafford threw two Red Zone picks and the other was returned for a TD.  On to the second half...