Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Too Old. Too Fat.

I am now officially depressed.  A friend of mine had posted a job opening in the Sports Department of a small-market TV station and given my vast experience as a sportscaster, my skill set, and my work ethic, I'd be the perfect hire.  Not to mention my attitude.  I love everything about everybody.  All the time.  So I sent the guy an e-mail saying hat given my experience, skill set and work ethic, I'd be the perfect hire. 

He writes me back and says, "Like me you are over 50.  Like me you are overweight.  I would not be hired in an open market."

The meaning was clear.  I was being told that I was too old and too fat to come to work for him, even though he's known me for 20 years and knows first-hand the quality of the work I do. 

What a kick in my (large) gut.  I can lose weight, that's no problem; but how can I get younger?  Answer me that.

I felt better when I got to the part in his e-mail about how the job was only going to pay $8.00/hour, but only a little.  The fact that an on-air position at any TV station was going to pay only a few cents over minimum wage was somewhat depressing in its own right.

Even if I am over 50, I'm thinking hard about going to law school.  That way, the next time I'm told I'm too old and too fat when I'm applying for a job which does not involve playing Major League Baseball I can sue the guys ass myself.  Don't get mad, get even, right?

Monday, March 24, 2008


I don't know what it was like where you were, but here in the greater Detroit area yesterday--Easter Sunday, the temperature was in the upper 20's and there was snow on the ground as we made our way to church. Not very Easter-like.

I sing (if one is willing to accept a very liberal definition of the word "sing", that is) in the choir and as we waited in the narthex to process into the sanctuary, I amused some (but not all) of my fellow parishioners by observing that, had the actual Easter Morning been as cold as it was yesterday, "Jesus would have stayed in tomb."

I figure my mock chilly Savior would have said something like, "Roll that stone back into place, will 'ya? It's freezing out there. Let's try it again Tuesday or Wednesday, okay?"

As I mentioned, many around me laughed. A few did not. In fact, one or two people shot me a dirty look. People are funny about humor and religion.

I read the "created in His own image" clause of the Bible to mean that God, in addition to ungodly good looks, gave me a sense of humor. If I'm wrong about that, well, we'll be seeing you in the Lake of Fire. My bad.

Others see virtually any attempt to make a funny when it comes to matters involving religion as sacrilege. I understand. Of course, the chance that I might offend those around me has not and will not prevent me from joking about God, Heaven, Hell and all the rest of it, but I do understand. They can pray for me if they want to. I can use all of that I can get.